Last Weekend FREE

As I've been goin' threw this trial i've been meaning to do so much. I wanted to get drunk for the 1st time in my adult life. Friday I sorta did that...actually I drunk some Patron, Grey Goose, and 1800 Silver I believe it was but, I went to sleep right after so I didn't feel the effects. I didn't get to see the people I wanted to see this weekend but I still made the best of it.
This past Saturday, me, my cousin Tez, Shizz, and ya boy Short Dawg was chillin' together and decided to go to the studio. Short Dawg is a character, the niggas crack jokes all day. He had a show at Club Illusion (I don't do clubs) my focus was just gettin' in the booth layin' somethin' down. Anyway after he made his appearance and fuckin' with the "groupies" we met up downtown and went to the studio. We went to DWI studio, and they shit is fly! We sittin' there tryin' to pick beats ya boy Short Dawg was like "whatever yall want to do" he didn't have no input really from a creative standpoint. I figure he would just spit some lines he already remembered but that was'nt the case. After my cousin came up with the hook we began to write. Short was off that "lean" and kept pacin' the floor or either half sleep in the chair. After awhile he went straight in the booth and dropped his shit with no pen or pad. His delivery was on point and he did very few takes. We telepathically thinkin' (me & Tez) alike, like "Short Dawg got his deal wit So So Def/Russell Simmons he might be feelin' his self we gotta show'em we Detroit niggas go in". so Tez laid his verse and was droppin' crazy punchlines which, like most talented rappers Short Dawg tried to keep that game face on. Then I went in the booth and not to toot my on horn but I murdered it. Juan was'nt there so I don't know his reaction to it. The song was produced by DWI producer Trill. Short Dawg play a part as engineer too adjustin' levels and shit. We didn't leave there till 7 am. Short Dawg was'nt on no star shit either. They had that marathon downtown blockin' up all the streets so he decided to get out and walk to the building cause we was blocked off by the runners. Even though it was just a few blocks away from where we was goin', you know Detroit niggas'll rob you whenever. He had his watch & chain on and was'nt on no scared shit so I give'em respect for that. Them niggas downtown is scantless.

Next day, Sunday
Me & Tez met up with Juan, Short, Pip, and Shizz at J. O'neal studio. They did some songs workin' on Short Dawg's album and Juan's album. Here go Short again with no pen, no paper. This time it was a song with a crazy rhyme scheme so I know he came up with that shit right then. It was dope. He tried to crack on Juan for comin' with the notebook, talkin' bout he had "sack raps". Everybody was crackin' up. This nigga said like kids carry a sack lunch to school niggas got sack raps. They finished the song in about 30 minutes then went to another song that needed to be filled in. Mind you from last night we made a impression on Short Dawg, we gave'em a run for his money. Now today, he tried to crack on me cause on one beat I had a written rap. He was like "this nigga wrote this to 50 Cent-In The Club beat" (tryin' to say I look like 50 Cent). We all laughed but I think he knew I was a problem on the mic.
Funny thing about Hip-Hop it's all about the battle. Everybody has to be the best. It's all good cause it brings the best out of you. Juan always be on that tip like "such & such murdered you on the song" or "I sonned such & such on this song". that type of shit MAKES you come hard. I'm just blessed to have that type of rivalry in my camp cause i'd hate to be aprat of a group and there's only one person who shines everybody. As far as writing rhymes in my head, Short Dawg got me on that. I do way too much, and I just not in a comfortable position to JUST focus on rap. I always think about makin' my money, dodgin' police, making beats and how i'm gone chop this sample up, or just everyday shit that bugs me. Not to mention Saturday was Sweetest Day and one my home girls got a room downtown at the Anthenium cause she knew I was goin' to prison this Tuesday (tomorrow) and I didn't make it cause I went to the studio. I know she was pissed, but she might've just pulled a nigga out the club for the night. Anyway, thats how life goes.
(I feel like Doogie Howser with this typin' about my life on a computer shit hahahahaha)

Today hopefully I get to lay some more shit down. Atleast give my cousin this beat cd for him to spit on. It's like i'm in the 25th Hour, everybody wanna do shit with before I leave but I can't be in 2 places at once. Can you believe I put the studio before a bitch? Most niggas would've went to fucked the girl, but I feel that words (and music) leave a more lasting impression.

Destroy & Rebuild...then expand

Sometimes I wonder why did MOST of the great black leaders of our time had to be imprisoned. I've always wondered that, especially when I was younger and read The Auto-Biography of Malcolm X. Not to mention to listen to my family,teachers, and elders talk about how Rosa Parks went to jail for a WHOLE race (I know that's controversial ). But as I dissect the confines of my mind for accumulated knowledge, I realize that most (if not all) of my "heroes" have all been incarcerated. For instance:

2 Pac...
A man says his records never went platinum till he got a record. By record I mean rap sheet and by rap sheet I don't mean pertaining to music. After his release from prison we've all witness a different Tupac, a more focused Tupac. Some say his music wasn't transcendent from his old 2pacalypse persona but more "gangsta". In my own opinon I think 2pac learned a great deal from those political prisoners and the value of words. Yes, 2pac always had the 'Thug Life' tattooed on his stomach but after his release from prison he came up wit a accronym for it. He gave Thug Life a meaning other than the obvious on the exterior. The Hate U Gave Little Infants Fuck Everybody! That acronym speak volumes, as do the actual word 'Thug Life', it scares you sub-consciously. Kinda like when NWA came out and publicly said it stands for Niggaz Wit Attitudes.
Upon 2pac's release he recorded some of his BEST material ever in a short amount of time. besides it seemed as if he had "known somethin'" and wanted for us not as fans but as black people to come together and be part of his "plan".
Guys in my age group always argue that we have no black leaders in our generation but, they NEVER realize that 2Pac was the closet person to black leader/activist since Malcolm X who spoke our story...And that's why we call'em nigga, I betcha.
note: you can't feed a baby steak. you have to feed babies baby food and gradually move to solids.

Malcolm X...
This is one my favorite people whom I've never got a chance to experience. His words were profound and his actions spoke louder. No, he wasn't a Black Panther who constantly spoke on politics and socialism, but he spoke on our politics and how WE play with the hand we were dealt. Malcolm or El Hajj Malik El Shabazz after his pillage to Mecca, discovered to true meaning of Islam (which is peace). We'll never know what Martin Luther King Jr. & Malcolm X spoke about on the day they finally got to meet. But one thing we do know is after that pilgrimage he had Understanding. I capitalized Understanding cause that is secondly important to the growth of man, first theres Knowledge.
Malcolm obtained the Knowledge from prison which he converted to the Nation of Islam. The Nation opened Malcolm's eyes in a sense, and so ironically he would have NEVER known about his true self as a black man if it was'nt for The Nation or prison. I ask myself why did he have to go to prison to find enlightenment? Was it part of God's divine order to have him go through purgatory like Jesus in order to be "reborn"? I find that ALOT of people I know how were imprisoned come back out on the streets more educated in knowledge of self. Not to say they DON'T revert back to their old ways but they all have that "30 day eye of the tiger", in which they're eager to teach people of the knowledge they obtained while incarcerated. I say 30 days cause then reality sets in. Jobs get to doin' background checks, you get to witnessing they money bein' made illegally, and bacon starts to smell good.
All in all prison have helped some of the worst of us, but I can't seem to figure...Why do we have to go through persecution to move ahead spiritually, physically, and mentally? Every religion has that same theology. Destroy & Rebuild.

There's a whole list of celebrities and influential people who were once jailed. I just hope I can break this cycle I keep witnessing by informing the youth about the justice system and the prison system and how to avoid it WITHOUT takin' a cop out by sounding too preachy and say "go to school & find a job"...

-drop a jewel- & some random rambling-
When Erykah Badu says "my cipher keeps rolling like a rolling stone" alot of people didn't "get" that. Cipher represents a circle, and cipher also represents complete, so do a circle. So from 1)knowing or wanting to know, 2)understanding that of what you wanted to know, and 3) having wisdom about what you've learned is a complete cipher. That would be 360 degrees and your circle (or cipher) keeps rollin' when you keep wanting to Know. If you noticed, everything revolves in cycles (or circles).
For instance: planets revolve around the sun.
your respiratory system works in a cycle (or cipher) you breathe in your nose and out your mouth.
your digestive system: you eat to nurture your body and excrete the toxins, those same toxins fertilize the plants of which bear the fruit from which you've ate.
Even in the "life ecosystem" we are trained to go to school and get a job then die old. So harshly put, but that's life. Now living is the parts in between that story, the "chapters" as I would put it. And just like a a book you start from the cover and read to the cover. I hope to make my story a vibrant one from all of my dark moments, and from the law of the universe I should be granted that. Unfortunately alot of our "stories" are short, and alot of "books" are paperback and thin much like a magazine - full of false advertisements. I will like to make my life NOT a encyclopedia, but a novel with vibrant photographs. This site lets me "index" my thoughts. With that said, this is just a list of "table of contents".

Countdown To Lockdown

O.K. I've been thinkin' about the things I wanna secure before I go in. I'm still at the top of my 'To-Do-List' in which I only have 1 week and a half left. I turned my phone off 1st of all cause I got tired of gettin' calls from people who just wanna waste my time. For instance, one female was sendin' naked pictures to my phone and then call talkin' about "what I wanna do to you" type of stuff. Like I said before i'm past the sex thing...besides, I need companionship over sex. One female i've know for about 3 years called out-of-the-blue and I told her my situation and instantly she was like "i'll write you and send you some money & pictures". Whats so crazy about that is that she has a boyfriend. If I knew my girl correspondin' with a n*gga in prison, that is somethin' I could'nt take lightly. It'll NEVER be anything between us (if she knows it or not) but I appreciate the jester. Another female...well i'll say woman cause she's 30, had the same reaction. She's a writer so I think she would get a kick out of correspondin' to a future inmate, plus the fact that i'm a significant person. I just met her back in August so i'll see if she's true to her word. Anyway, i'm still compelled on callin' this female who says I owe over $700 in child support to a kid I have'nt even seen. I promise i'll call and/or make that visit to her grandmothers house this week.

My state of mind is NOT focused on bein' imprisoned but the fact i'll come home to zero/nothing and back at square one. Thats why i'm tryin' to somewhat secure my future.
The top 5 things I need to do is:

1.) Find out if i'm this kid's father...so I can resolve this child support matter

2.) Sale my car, speakers, amp, etc...(if I don't it's still cool cause when I get out i'll already have transportation)

3.) Collect money from everybody who owe me & secure some correspondances.

4.) Hit my cousin up so he can look-out for me on building my credit while i'm locked down.

5.) Enjoy my freedom while I can...and get drunk for the 1st time in my adult life (I've drank before but it was only twice & I was like 15/16 years old).


...#5, my friends talkin' bout takin' me to a titty bar (in which i've NEVER been) but I refused the offer. I don't know what it is about women dancin' in front of me naked but that sh*t don't excite me! Maybe it was because when I was in middle school my older cousin & his friends was out on 7 mile infront of the Barber shop one friday and flagged down a woman who turned out to be a stripper. Since we knew the owner of the baber shop he said we could come in . After a few advances, she gave in and gave us all a lap dance (completely naked). Mind you I was only 14 and they was all 19 and up...I think she was like 25. After that I was like DAMN! But I never had the desire to pay for a stripper...since she did a exellent job and I didn't have to drop a dime! Besides I can't concentrate with a room full of women who's fakin' that they enjoy to have random fingers shoved in her. Imagine how many guys that done probably been grabbin' they sweaty balls and with those same ball fingers shoved in her "canal". I don't like a sweaty women anyway, that is unless i've made her sweatout her perm/weave.
note: think about many n*ggas in the room that done licked that SAME nipple!!! Strip Club...NOOOPE

...#4, My cousin own alot of property around Detroit. 5 years ago he pointed out damn near a whole block on the eastside. And NO it was anywhere near Mack & Bewick. It was a neighborhood where homeOWNERS kept they property up. During that time I could'nt fathom owning a house of my own, mind you I was 21/22 and thought only "established" people were home owners (i.e. people who were reitred or with careers). Now i've seen I was totally wrong! Especially when I witness a n*gga make a closing on a $90,000 home and cash the check. The Real Estate game is cool, but i'm tryin' to stay in the house and build some collateral through it. Besides i'll be 28/29 when I get out, I need somethin' thats MINES other than a car & clothes. With him building my credit that'll be great for the both of us...I hate to ask him for anything (though he's driving S550's & Range Rovers and have paid for my lawyer) , but I gotta break-down and give him a call this week.

Words From The Wise...
...normality breed content (i.e. stagnation)
...idle hands are the devils workshop