Lock Me Up But My Mind Is Free

I hate to be typin' this little message but I guess I fulfilled the American Prophecy: make him a felon if he's under 30 and black. I was doin' OK out in the world, finally fillin' the shoes of "Man" (bein' that I was man in age but not in responsibility). I've obtained the title of "independant" since 2004, bein' that I moved out of my momma's home and into my own. I know people are suppose to do that but, it's hard out here especially Detroit. Since then I made it my business to keep the title of "independant" and finally my preserverance ran out.

The 1st road block was a female who I was really cool with had child support papers sent to my mother's house inwhich I didn't obtain until about 6months after they were mailed out. Meaning that this is the 2nd time around that a female had givin' birth to a child which they claimed were mine. I was'nt trippin' on the assumption of I was her kids father but the year of not tellin' me she was pregnant.
note: I'm a man. I will take care of whats mines, and ONLY whats is proven to be mines.

The 2nd road block was that my house got broken into and damaged pretty bad. It had to be some dope fiends cause they took the shit that dopefiends take...you know the shit they take...So I had to move from my neighborhood I grew-up where I thought was comfortable.
That brings me to strike number 3. I enrolled in WC3 cause I missed the deadline for Wayne State. During that same week I get aressted and beat-up by police. They charged me with 3 charges and when I went to court I was facin' 5-18 years. The police took all my money plus I spent & borrowed money to get out on bond (which is how i'm able to type this now). The court appointed lawyer was sayin' she MIGHT GET ME 3 years plus 3 years probation which was out the question. I called my cousin (which hurt my pride though he doin' VERY WELL) he paid for a good lawyer for me. The lawyer got 2 of the charges dropped instantly. He said "winning against this felony firearms charge is unlikely" So weighin' my options, I took the plea which I can't apply for boot camp.
Damn! Now I have to sit in a cell for 6 months up to 2 years out of my life. And to make it so bad I was just gettin' on track as a man. All my money is gone. I don't put to much stock into women since the baby scare i've recieved in the past which was twice in the span of 3 years. So with that said...I now have to prepare for my release from the prison system before I even go to jail. Meaning, I have one month to tie my loose ends.
First I want find out if I am the father of this child (which stays on my conscious). I'd hate to meet the kid after I get out of prison cause I know it would put me into over-drive which can probably have me in the same position I was once in. Plus it would hurt me to see him talkin' & knowin' that I was'nt there in his 1st years of living. Secondly I have to save every penny I have & make just so I can come home to some money to work with (I hate askin' people for shit). Third, all the females I know, they would'nt write me a letter but will give me some p*ssy (ain't thats some sh*t?). It seems as though my life is crumbling by the day. I don't have NO support system!!! The weigh of the world is on my shoulders. I can be a ignorant and just say "f*ck it" and become a full-time criminal but thats not me, I want so much more outta life.

In conclusion, i'm the LAST of all my so-called friends (and cousin's) to become a felon. N*ggas brag about "slangin'" and "carryin' a heater" but with me it was'nt like that, and now I see the flip side of it. I played the game fair and by the rules which ALOT of guys my age don't do. I say "so-called friends" cause the 1st day I got out n*ggas was tryin' to pull me back into it. I feel that if you f*ck up in one area correct it, move on and make it better. Like the book 'Who Moved My Cheese'. I feel everything happens for a reason, but this one thing I can't figure out cause i'm already in transition of becomin' a Man with a capital "M". I guess this will solidify it, bein' that I can handle the most deplorable situations and make somethin' out of it.

Music For Grown-Ups (That need to be in your Ipod)

O.K. I woke-up to a song playin' (I went to sleep wit my Ipod on) and it had me thinkin'...I'm in my mid-twenties and I listen to "old people" music. I got that label from a female who was ridin' with me & I was playin' Debarge. Actually I listen to all types of music, but I prefer classic music. When I say 'classic' I mean timeless music. But I decided to make this post cause alot of my older friends ONLY listen to rap or today's R & B which they play on the radio. My thoughts is: They're older than me and don't know about Mel'lisa Morgan? Fool's Paradise huh? So, I wanted to make a list of Grown-Up Music. The type of music that, when I hear these songs I feel masculine yet vulnerable, proud yet emotional. These songs are a few of many that put you on a whole different mind-set (especially when played in a females presence). So i'm gonna give you the title and my thoughts on the songs.
Note: You have to listen to the words and what is bein' said too.

(in no particular order)
1.) The Deele-Shoot'em Up Movies
-Now this is a song in which I didn't hear untill this year. I came across song cause a rapper sampled this song and I wanted to hear the actual song. To my discovery, Babyface & L.A. Reid were in this group, this was Babyface's 1st group.
Now when I heard this song I could picture the whole scene he's talkin' about. It's a real retro song bein' that it was made in like 1987, but it's a song that still sounds good while cleaning-up. You'll be sprayin' Windex on the windows like "gotcha" (you'll have to hear the song to know what i'm talkin' about). And the fact that the song is about a guy who met a girl at a gangster movie is what makes it so special.

2.) Will Downing-A Million Ways
-This song I 1st heard on a movie. I forgot the name of the movie but remembered the song. This is some real GROWN-UP sh*t right here. This song is so smooth it makes me feel smooth, like I could seduce a woman with words while this is playing. This song is sexy (yeah I said it)! It's the type of song women love cause they think about the type of things he's sayin', wishin' that a guy would do half the things he singing about.
Play that for a mature woman while yall just chillin' and she CAN'T SAY NO, period. Unless you just have no game at all.



3.) Minnie Riperton-Inside My Love
-This is a classic! I remember hearing this when I was really young like 2 or 3 years old. Andto my discovery a few years ago my favorite producer (J-Dilla r.i.p) sample this for Slum Village hit song Climax (which is another favorite). But this song is a powerful one. I would love to hear Erykah Badu cover this song. This song will have a n*gga guard up...she spittin' game on here so tough! When I heard this when I got older I imagined a female saying the things she's saying and how would I counter it. This put me on so much game.
On the surface it seems as if she's talkin' about invitin' a guy to her "wonderland". But thats not too far off cause it could be her actual "wonderland" which can be her freedom ...it's a deep song.

4.) Gap Band-Yearning For Your Love
-This is a classic too! I remember my daddy playin' this when I was little. When I hear this I start to reminsce, besides one of my favorite songs sampled this (Nas-Life's A Bitch). These cats was spittin' game in the studio back in them days. Listen to the words...I imagine he tryin' to get at a girl and she ain't tryin' to hear it but he is singin' his heart out. I'd rather hear this than Musiq's Buddy any day.

5.) Debarge (aka Switch)-Stay With Me
-I love El Debarge's voice on this song, it sounds so smooth. I love this song...I even lip-sych the words (actin' silly) with most of their songs cause they voice sound so smooth and young. Not to mention Biggie's One More Chance sampled this song (I see a pattern that most of my favorites have been sampled). Even though he sound like a simp/captain save-a-hoe it's a good song.



6.) Maze featuring Frankie Beverly-Joy & Pain
-I remember this song back in the early 80's (I have a VERY good memory). My aunt boyfriend use to play they records (yeah those big plastic round black things in your mothers attic) and he use to vibe out to'em. I rememebr being in the back of his Cadillac strapped in my seat belt bouncin' to this.
How can you be in a bad mood when this sound comes on? This is Spring/Summer season music. Straight blowie shirts, straw hats, and linen shorts to this...thats how my aunt's boyfriend use to dress.

7.) Mtume-You, Me, He
-This is some real pimp sh*t right here. This is a song you play in the car when you pick-up a female knowin' that she has a boyfriend. This is on repeat as I speak cause all the women i'm dealing wit now all have men but they cheatin'. That bring me to the next song...



8.) Sade-Is It A Crime
- My daddy friends' wife use to baby sit me when I was little and she use to play all of Sade's tapes (that's what was in then...tapes). So I know most of Sade's music by heart. But the most poetic and sexy is Is It A Crime. Now I love the Promise CD and I can easily put any song from that album on here but this one has a feelin' of night with a candle flickerin'.

9.) Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes-I Miss You
- This song was used for a Jay-Z sample. But this song has to have had effected millions of men then, and millions of men will hear this song and nearly get teary-eyed when thinkin' of a old lover. This song that type of impact! He poured his heart out on this joint. Sound like he spoke about what men DON'T speak about when it comes to the end of realtionships. That's some real mature sh*t by confrontin' your fears & vulnerabilities.
This song is epic.

I can name ALOT but i'll keep it simple...stay tuned

Friend Requirements

Recently I had a misunderstandin' wit a female that wanted to be JUST friends, in which I didn't have a problem with so I decided to make this shit right here known to the internet world! For one, I want beneficial friends (if I say "friends with benefits" yall think sex partner). Beneficial friends are friends who care about your well-being first and who is willing to look out for your best intrest.
For instacne: If i'm horny what would do for me?
a) tell me to come over to ya house
b) hook me up one of ya freaky girlfriends
c) take my mind off of it in a subtle way.
d) would'nt give a shit & tell me call somebody else

If i'm in need of financial assistance would you...
a) give it to me with NO questions ask
b) give me half of what I say I needed
c) say you don't give niggas money
d) lie and say you don't have it

Money is a important requirement to me cause money is expendable, meaning it comes and goes. If you hold on to money like it's apart of you 9 times outta 10 we won't get along. Women who take pictures of money are usually the type I can tell I won't like cause they take pride in it way too much. Women with REAL MONEY spends it, invest it, and gives it away...for instance Oprah. Besides, thats how you make money...not by how much you flash but how much you spread around and how fast it goes threw ya hands. (real hustlers know that...like Donald Trump. how you think credit works?) .
Another tip: if you can take a picture of ya money it's not enough anyway...ever seen Bill Gates take pictures of his? NO! cause he has enough to fill houses. I said sex cause thats a way to see a female's values. A women initially declines sex cause she gets that type of attention all day everyday. Plus if I have a inkling of knowin' I can "hit that" our friendship would go into a different level (for better or worse).
Basically to me a "friendship" is just as important as a male/female relationship. Why? Because a good friend could last a lifetime. I mean who would you invite to ya wedding, ya co-workers who hardly know you? What i'm gettin' at is...I meet people EVERYDAY and less than 5% I would consider a potential friend. Besides sex, I want a female who can have a debate but not be arguementive and we learn from each others opinions. When I tell a femalel that on the phone they'll say somethin' like "well I don't like to argue" (miscommunicated word was "DEBATE")...my thoughts is "how can I get her off my line without lyin' to her, I hope my line click so I can NEVER talk to her again". No matter how good you look, how much I wanna f*ck you but you are not my type! Basically I need someone who can challenge me...
When I was sellin' clothes in '05-06 I met alot of women who flirted for the purposes of gettin' a deal on a Roca Wear/Baby Phat outfit. I seen right through it, but I played the "friend" role to my advantage. Friends at this stage in my life is more important than p*ssy. Instead of me strokin' a slut who's last name I don't know is NOT worth more than the female I can have a phillosophical conversation with! 5 years ago I would've NOT made that comment, but people grow-up. I find it funny that women i've had "relations" with throw that term out there freely, but in reality, all we did was make "arrangements". Even now, when women say they have "alot of male friends" I think "wow i've heard that so many times". I initially believe that they f*ck majority of those afforementioned "friends" and or WOULD NOT be there for them when it count. It's crazy that people would give a person their body and not their mind! As i'm typin' this i'm havin' a epiphany...cause I have done the same sh*t I despise.

1.) I need women who are knowledgable about things & are educated cause...if I need a study partner I want someone who will HELP me & not just read the text in the book. Besides, educated women will get further in life than a stripper (I ain't hatin' on strippers). Knowledgable women tend to have a broad opinion and opinionated people gives you game from a different prespective.

2.) I also need women who have had alot of experience wit guys...why? Cause women who has had alot experience f*ckin' with different type of men (I don't mean fucked alot of men) has a broad vision on relationships and what type of men they are drawn to oppose to the ones they end up with. Plus, how can I explain a situation (or ask for advice) to a person who DONT get out much?

3.) Just cause we friends don't mean you can look any kind of way either. You still have to keep ya self intact cause a 1st impression is the most lastin' one. You have to STILL be presentable to be a friend of mine. If I say let's go out or let's take a trip...i'm not tryin' to be seen with a unhealthy, filthy lookin' person.

4.) And for yall Myspace...Add Me As A Friend people...
It's cool but I really try to focus on people who I know personally. But if you know me from school, work, on the street, know me through another person, heard me on some Dirty Glove recordings, or just like what I have to say let me know. Don't just send me a 'can I add you as a friend' message and don't state why!
simply put...