Lock Me Up But My Mind Is Free

I hate to be typin' this little message but I guess I fulfilled the American Prophecy: make him a felon if he's under 30 and black. I was doin' OK out in the world, finally fillin' the shoes of "Man" (bein' that I was man in age but not in responsibility). I've obtained the title of "independant" since 2004, bein' that I moved out of my momma's home and into my own. I know people are suppose to do that but, it's hard out here especially Detroit. Since then I made it my business to keep the title of "independant" and finally my preserverance ran out.

The 1st road block was a female who I was really cool with had child support papers sent to my mother's house inwhich I didn't obtain until about 6months after they were mailed out. Meaning that this is the 2nd time around that a female had givin' birth to a child which they claimed were mine. I was'nt trippin' on the assumption of I was her kids father but the year of not tellin' me she was pregnant.
note: I'm a man. I will take care of whats mines, and ONLY whats is proven to be mines.

The 2nd road block was that my house got broken into and damaged pretty bad. It had to be some dope fiends cause they took the shit that dopefiends take...you know the shit they take...So I had to move from my neighborhood I grew-up where I thought was comfortable.
That brings me to strike number 3. I enrolled in WC3 cause I missed the deadline for Wayne State. During that same week I get aressted and beat-up by police. They charged me with 3 charges and when I went to court I was facin' 5-18 years. The police took all my money plus I spent & borrowed money to get out on bond (which is how i'm able to type this now). The court appointed lawyer was sayin' she MIGHT GET ME 3 years plus 3 years probation which was out the question. I called my cousin (which hurt my pride though he doin' VERY WELL) he paid for a good lawyer for me. The lawyer got 2 of the charges dropped instantly. He said "winning against this felony firearms charge is unlikely" So weighin' my options, I took the plea which I can't apply for boot camp.
Damn! Now I have to sit in a cell for 6 months up to 2 years out of my life. And to make it so bad I was just gettin' on track as a man. All my money is gone. I don't put to much stock into women since the baby scare i've recieved in the past which was twice in the span of 3 years. So with that said...I now have to prepare for my release from the prison system before I even go to jail. Meaning, I have one month to tie my loose ends.
First I want find out if I am the father of this child (which stays on my conscious). I'd hate to meet the kid after I get out of prison cause I know it would put me into over-drive which can probably have me in the same position I was once in. Plus it would hurt me to see him talkin' & knowin' that I was'nt there in his 1st years of living. Secondly I have to save every penny I have & make just so I can come home to some money to work with (I hate askin' people for shit). Third, all the females I know, they would'nt write me a letter but will give me some p*ssy (ain't thats some sh*t?). It seems as though my life is crumbling by the day. I don't have NO support system!!! The weigh of the world is on my shoulders. I can be a ignorant and just say "f*ck it" and become a full-time criminal but thats not me, I want so much more outta life.

In conclusion, i'm the LAST of all my so-called friends (and cousin's) to become a felon. N*ggas brag about "slangin'" and "carryin' a heater" but with me it was'nt like that, and now I see the flip side of it. I played the game fair and by the rules which ALOT of guys my age don't do. I say "so-called friends" cause the 1st day I got out n*ggas was tryin' to pull me back into it. I feel that if you f*ck up in one area correct it, move on and make it better. Like the book 'Who Moved My Cheese'. I feel everything happens for a reason, but this one thing I can't figure out cause i'm already in transition of becomin' a Man with a capital "M". I guess this will solidify it, bein' that I can handle the most deplorable situations and make somethin' out of it.